Back in the USA

I am back in the US! Its awesome in a non-India-kinda-boring way. The flight to get back was a bitch! 36 hrs being on a plane or in an airport. It fucking sucked and my ears are still ringing from jet engines blasting my face off. Checking through customs was a bit strange, which some bald (he even shaved his eye brows) militant asked me why I went to India. I stated, as he looked at my tourist visa that I was a tourist. He asked if I had any family or friends there and when I said no he said that no one goes to India "just because" (as I had said) and became a wee bit mad. It ended up fine after it came out that I was working hospitals and such, which I told him after I thought that he may want to do some weird search or something. After breathing crisp cool Oregon air and walking down quite clean streets I have to say that we are all very lucky to live in a place where people are not grabbing you, yelling at all times, almost running you over, spiting everywhere, while picking their nose, scratching their crotch, farting and burping without a second thought (yet less exciting).

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

It has been one hell of a trip. I have no idea who is reading this (there has to be someone right), anyway its been a freaking blast to write. I have had a top of fun here in India and fun talking about it. This being my last weekend here in India I went to the part state of Goa. When you walk around you think a weird twist on Mexico. Here exists the most picture perfect beaches in the world, or at least every close to them. The food is great there are drinks galor and everyone is trying to sell you hash. Every evening we watched a gorgeous sunset, while drinking a Kingfisher (One of the only Indian beers). The first night after wondering around bars, yelling at some Brit about how everyone has guns in the US, and US airlines don't give you free booze (he really freaked out at the very idea of not getting tanked on a plane for free), I was lead to some clubs by some Russians. After a dance off (I was told that I won) my friend had a hilarious interaction with some transvestites. The second night was more of the same but ended with yoga poses on the beach, and trying to come up with a list of "Only in India" ( its great). After the spiciest meal I have ever had last night I passed out and I am now going to have my last meal in India and get on a plane. Its been a wild ride, I have a lot more to tell, so Ill just have to say it in person, everything that has happened here has been typical of my life; hilarious. I may just have to keep this thing up.

Clubin'

So on the night of Holi I went to some clubs in south Mumbai. It was funny the first one that I went to consisted of a bunch of wasted westerners dancing to techno, being German, did was bad. ha. The second club was more mellow, serving designer drinks at outrageous western prices. Indians here like noise, the music is always so loud that it becomes distorted by the speakers. At 3 in the morning I was exhausted, couldn't hear, and kind more drunk then I would like to admit after my four gin and tonics. I am out of shape for this whole party thing. I have been waking up at dawn too often and going to bed before midnight just as much. This weekend my change this. Apparently the beach is full of people wanting to lounge on the beach and drink. I may just sit sleep, and relax. HA.

DAY 67 !

I think that's the number of days, I have been trying to keep track, but not very hard. This last week was spent mostly with me saying "aaaaahhhhuuuhhh" and griping my abdomen, in pain. Actually after half the week, I took some anti-biotics and felt much better and was ready to sit on a bus for several days time. Which I did. It was a bitch though. People here are really friendly but, they cant say no, or tell you that something is wrong. So when a bus is full they will just tell you it is coming, and not that it is coming full and I should figure some shit out. Or they will say yes it is a 10 hr journey, but only if the bus doesn't stop at every town and hut to pick people up and drop others off. It was one hell of a trip to Hampi. I had thought that I was smart taking the seat behind the door, you know more leg room, the nice breeze to cool (it is really fucking hot) me. This turned out to be a bad idea with so many people getting on and off, some fat guy with the same idea and sitting next to me, and the wind just became annoying and loud coming through the door. I was able to watch Mad Max 1 and 2 and read a fair bit. But that may be the one plus to the ride. Hampi was great, and the ride back I just layed down on my weird rubber bed, and watched as Indian fields and farms rolled by. To break wheat here some farmers just through it in the road and let cars, trucks, buses and carts roll over them, and then quickly sweep up the wheat.
Last Wed. and Thursday I have tried to go out of some bars, and check out the night life here in Mumbai. No luck, in this "24 city" everything closes at 1, so after getting done with clinic at 10:30-11:00 and then eating, there is not much time for much fun. We tried going to some 'club' that turned out to be more like a Red Robbin, and the most "Posh" bar in Mumbai, only to find that the upper crust here get it done early and also end just as lamely. Last night this guy Guarev invited me out to what I thought was some going away party that involved lots of drinking. Instead it was just him and his Indian buddies asking me about girls, and smoking huka. Huka bars don't serve beer, and I was in bed by 12:30. Maybe its my bad luck but people here dont really like to drink, I will see what I can do.

A Shit Time

Looking back I should have realized that eating some mutton malsala would only lead to bad things, but that doesn't matter now. At the beginning of the weekend I was struck with what Indians here call 'lose motions'. Unfortunately I did not have the time to oblige to such motions because I was on a mad dash though the city to catch a train to Goa. Try having to take a huge watery shit while running though train stations and streets (people here really get out of the way of a 6ft white guy running at them with a giant backpack) to just make the train, which I did with only 1 min. to spare before it left. It was a very rough ride on the sleeper train, in which I did not sleep much. After taking enough narcotic derivatives (yes that's what the prescription actually is) to freeze any addicts bowels, I had to hunch over on the top bunk, trying to make my bed only to see that the previous user of the sheets appeared to be in similar intestinal distress. Fuck. Still sweaty from running, I was very glad to have my sleeping bag and wondered why I even bothered with the stupid sheets. When we got to the beach I had lost half my weight in water and by the time I drank it back, had some food, had a nap and felling better I had a horrible sun burn, that reversed my state of being back to really shitty. I had forgotten that the malaria pills that I had been taking so diligently as of late make you burn very very easily. FUCK. The only good thing, I did not get bitten by a mosquito, so I guess I didn't actually have to take the medicine in the first place. Goa is known for its beach party atmosphere, as you can imagine I was excited to go, but the only thing I could do was sleep. After an over night train spent farting I am feeling better and ready for this, my second to last week, in Mumbai.