getin' wetter by the minute

Complete and utter despise for thys life. For fending off the crushing darkness in mans struggle against the world is far too much to take. This is what the forefathers of the forefathers must have thought, sitting around their campfire in the snow and wind, eating pickled beets before musing up the Holidays. Because the winter months can suck. Yet I love the Holidays, all the glitter and bliss of Christmas carols and lights. I just cant help but whistle “it’s a holly jolly Christmas”. Well that is until I realize that its winter. And I haven’t seen the sun in so long that I am turning Gollum, and every time I step outside I get shit on by the rain god Zeus on steroids, as he tries to see what will freeze off first; my balls or my thumbs. Every day when I get up its dark, I get outside and battle cars on my bike as the streets of downtown Portland turn in to river beds. The ride home is also dark and the same with the exception that I am going uphill.

Yesterday, following this same basic premise, I avoid death by inches to have wet socks all day. I am finishing up an experiment which means I have to spend hours trying to get samples ready for analysis on a machine whose basic function is to tell you what color something is. In the middle to taking mouse samples at about three o’clock I receive a text that a friend noticed my ol’ VW Vanagon has been tagged as “Abandoned” by the city of Portland and that they will tow it. FUCK! To be honest, the city was right. They have given me three tickets (not paying for parking and for parking in a “no park” church loading zone) all of which I did not pay until I was threatened with, and then slapped with a hefty fine (story of my life; try to stick it to the man and I get fucked! everyttime). Ouch. Anyway after being out 150 I decided to try to beat the system by parking my car in a neighborhood near a friend’s house. The city wised up to the situation. Missy, being at the scene, tried to move the van, only to find that the battery was dead. At this point I am frantically battling with the color teller (wiki FACS flow cytometry), finding how many cells are Aqua, Texas Red and Green, along with other colors that have names that only 8 year old girls know. After nine hours at work I have 2/3 of the samples left, I am starving, and the color teller goes A-wall. The several hundred thousand dollar machine is a finicky bitch, and you kinda have to rub its belly the right way for it to work for ya. One could say it detests me rubbing on it. Now there are not many people that know exactly how to work the fucking thing and so I had to spend an hour calling people until I got it back up and running. I almost had a heart attack every time I get a text, thinking its news that city is taking the Van to be scraped, and almost faint each time that the color detector breaks down 3 more times. At 8:50pm, after 12.8 hours at work, I run for the stairs to make the tram down the hill, realize after standing up that I have not eaten in 8 and a half hours and stumble to the elevator. I make the last tram down Marquam hill. I make it to my bike I in a daze, kick off and screeched to a halt. My rear wheel was partially disconnected! SOME FUCK-ASS TRIED TO STEAL MY WHEEL! That or I have somehow been riding on a wheel that could fall off at any moment… now that I think about it, I wouldn’t be surprised. After some in-the-gutter-of-the-street mechanics I was on my way to push the Vanagon up the hill it was at the bottom of, to push start it, in order to save the one and only from becoming a soup can. I was able to pick up a ride to the van from Tad (the all knowing roommate) where I found it in Missy’s driveway, charging! I guess winter isent so bad when my life is series of freak events day in and day out.
oh yeah i had a cinimen roll, and a bite of fish for dinner.