Sobriety

Sober for 11 day's. I havent had a drop of liquer. HA! Suckers. Some bum did offer me some hashish today, I almost laughed in the bums face. Sorry high bum. Rishikish is not only the world center for Yoga, but also the hard core hippies. There are alot of European tourists here (the most white people I have seen sense here) that seem to be all about new age hippydom. I am currently freezing my ass off in Mussiore (6,000 ft.), I think I will have to get a scarf, because I am sleeping in a hospital bed (what the fuck!) in a building that has no heating at all. Anyway I have to go eat at the hospital mess hall, I can only hope it is better then American hospital food.

Maybe to quick

Ok, I may have been a little harsh on that last post. Everyone can be anal sometimes, right? I mean I think I have, at least once, or something, oh well I cant remember. Anyway I went to fucking sweet Buddha temple on Wed. It was out side of Derhadun next to a huge army base (interesting). The first thing that I noticed was that Buddha loves sex. There are paintings all over the shrine of him (or some other guy) with some Buddhist girl. Anyways it makes me like Buddhism all the more. Also Buddhists are also very technologically savvy. I cant speak for all, but these where listening to mp3 players, had laptops, and taking pictures on their phones. Shit! These monks are going to take over the world. I took lots of pictures of a building sized gold Buddha and several shrines, after spinning more prayer wheels then I can count. I have no idea if I was supposed to be saying a prayer or not, but I did do it in a clockwise direction (yeah me), so I guess it cant hurt.
Today I am in Rishikish, the world center for yoga! Several people warned me of fake monks who trick travelers in to giving them money for enlightenment (do I give off some "I am a gullible hippy vibe"?). I will continue on my quest of checking out shrines and trying new crazy foods that I have never heard of (so far everything is good).

A Quicky

So I just have to say (I may have to delete this in case this girl facebooks me and finds this) that this one American girl (well she is mostly from Canada) who is the definition of a boner kill. She is a Debby Downer and an all around worrying up tight cunt. Well maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the poor girl but every time she starts talking all I can do is just sit and stare at her tight ass-ness and her complete lack of a jaw (figuratively and physically(I hate that)). Anyways I just had to rant about that. The other two people I am with are great. Oh yeah I went to a buddest temple this morning, awesome. Next time you get a chance you got to go. I think I may have fucked my Carma or something, because you are supposed to walk and do everything clockwise but I didn't see the sign and did the walking counter. SHIT!!!! Well got to go.

I havent shit my pants yet!

That's it. Just so you know my stomach (yes the one that feels bad after too much moving, chocolate mike, ice cream, juice, sweets and food of any kind) is doing just fine. I did sneeze today, but I did not want to frighten anyone so I tried really (and I mean really) hard to not have a very loud (my normal) sneeze and I just about blew my eyes out. That's all thats happened. Ok I guess that's a bit of a lie, my first day I ate two of these spicy triangle things (imagine Indian street hot pocket) and was worried that I might have whip out my emergency toilet paper earlier then I had thought. Yeah way to go GI system!

My First Wikram

Alright, one cannot survive here without constant vigilance (I am going to die). I took my first wikram ride today. Wikrams are a small three wheeled motorcycle/cart thing. They have are covered, and have a back that holds 6 people normally but 8 always seem be squeezed in. I always hit my head on the roof because apparently the fucking makers of these wikrams where midgets. I also almost have had my arm chopped off by cars/motorcycles/buses/wikrams flying by while I am sitting in one. There is so much to look at the store selling gold watches, a cow eating trash, a bum next to a fire in the street, the shit that I almost stepped in, that I am almost thankful that all the vehicles are blaring their horns so I don't have to see them coming. I asked Vikas (the guy who showed me to the hospital) how I know where a wikram stop is (oh yeah wikrams are like buses they have numbers and run routes) he said "This is India, there are no rules". This wasn't really an answer to my question but I think I got the jist, they are just where they are and just have to know. There are no street signs, and now that I think about it there don't seem to be blocks either(I don't know how this can be but it is true, Ill get back to you on it), anyhoo shit if fucked up, in a sweet crazy ass way.

I am here

AAARRRRGGGHHHHH! India is one crazy place. There are people going to who knows where all over the place. The trip was fucking long. The flight to Newark wasn't that bad (the worst part was not moving while sitting next to a fat boring lady). When I got there I first thought that I would leave the air port and check out New York. So I went to some Continental air line desk and asked this guy if I had time in my 4hr 30min-ish layover to do it. He said in a very boring voice that it was not a good idea and that I shouldn't do it. I did not like this opinion from another boring fat person so I left the airport to NYC! I didn't think that this "expert" had any adventure his whole life. Anyway so I went and checked out New York in an exhausted haze. I made it back to the airport just in time (not that it would have mattered because the plane was delayed from taking off).
Anyway when I got into Delhi I was almost in an uncountable number of car accidents (read the other blog). The Hotel we stayed in was literally a maze. To get to the room we had to walk up three flights of stairs, down two and around several corners at very odd angles.
Oh that's right, don't pack for a long trip while dunk! On new years day for some reason I took my camera charger, camera uplaoder thingy, and hand sanitizer out of my bag and left them in Bend. SHIT! So now I have so scour the bazaars for this crap. It sucks because it was in my bag, but somehow my subconscious decided to make everything a little bit crazier for me.
AARRGGGHHH

Leaving!

I am leaving in 9 hours! WOW! So this whole situation that I have fallen into is about to start. I don't know what to expect (fuck yeah). I have been asleep most of the day because I so drunk when I woke up (I am not sure exactly how I came to, and I don't remember much of the night). So now I am wide wake and I have to get up in less then 6hrs. Shit, 26 hour flight here I come!